I was aghast at the child abuse I witnessed today when I stopped by my favorite Mexican restaurant to pick up to-go chips and salsa.
When I got out of my car, I heard a woman yelling and screaming while dropping explosive F-bombs but I couldn’t tell where the yelling was coming from. As I went around the corner, I saw who was making all the noise, right outside the entrance to the restaurant.
A woman, probably in her late 20’s or early 30’s, was leaning down with her face about five inches away from the face of her maybe 10-year-old daughter. The little girl was bawling loudly as her mother was sticking her finger in her face. The little girl was trying to cover her face with her hands as her mother was reprimanding her in front of everyone coming in or out of the restaurant, showing no shame or remorse for her actions. The child was falling apart right there on the sidewalk for all to see; becoming a puddle of brokenness.
The very loud words I heard were, “I am at the end of my rope with you. I can’t take it anymore. You never listen to me. What am I supposed to do with you? Why do you have to be so disrespectful…” and it went on and on. Nestled within all the phrases were the F-bombs. From inside the lobby of the restaurant, I could see her continuing to rip into the little girl as I waited for my order. After about five minutes, they crawled into the back seat of a van parked in the handicapped section right outside the door. As I left with my order, she was still screaming at the girl from inside the van.
The child was falling apart right there on the sidewalk for all to see; becoming a puddle of brokenness.
Oh, how this brought back memories for me. Fortunately, I didn’t experience the horrible butterflies in my stomach that I used to feel when I would encounter people screaming or yelling. When I would run into someone yelling at someone earlier in life, I would want to run and climb under something, so I could curl up in a ball and hide. Those days are long gone now.
Part of me thought at the time that I needed to say something. The other part knew that when someone is loaded with fire like that woman was, it’s best to leave it alone. Anyone who would have approached her would have been the next target of her insanity.
How I pity that little girl. How I can relate to what she was feeling. If the mother treated this child like this for everyone to see, I could only imagine what life is like for the child behind the confines of their walls. I was watching horrible emotional abuse which by itself is bad enough. I have a feeling it is much more than this at home.
I know from experience that this mother has no clue the harm she is inflicting on this precious child. She has no idea how many years of therapy this kid will require when she reaches adulthood; if only she takes the initiative to get the therapy, rather than going down other addictive paths that will tempt her.
When you are right in the thick of it, it is your normal. Being yelled at is what the girl expects, and the mother never lets her down. If only this mother could wake up enough to realize the damage she is doing before it is too late. I highly doubt this will happen, but I am sending healing energy their direction.
It’s never okay to inflict such pain and misery on a child. What is it going to take for people to wake up and stop repeating behaviors that are so unhealthy? I’m sure the mother could spend hours on the couch with a therapist going over her own childhood issues. I have a feeling that even if granted the chance, I don’t believe she would take it.
Being yelled at is what the girl expects, and the mother never lets her down.
I grew up in many violent and abusive homes (we moved many times). Because I knew I was damaged goods, at a young age, I decided I would never have a child. I knew I was not equipped to be a good parent. I had no role model!
Fortunately, after years of turning my life around and working through all the memories and pain, I knew I was ready and able to be a fantastic mother. Fortunately, my body allowed it to happen. Why can’t others see this too? Why do broken people decide to bring more people into the world to break? I just don’t get it.
I’d love to hear your take on this because frankly, I’m lost.