When I was going through some of the most difficult times in my life, it never dawned on me that perhaps, I could have asked someone a little stronger than myself for help.

Right here, we are moving mountains!

There was the time I was sitting at my dining room table while living in Silverado Village in Las Vegas with a bottle of sleeping pills on the table in front of me. I was having flashbacks of sexual abuse from my mother’s second husband. The vision was blurry and confusing. I picked up the phone to call my mom because after all, immediately after I told her he was abusing me, we left him. She could help me put all the pieces back together; I could process it and move on.

It was late afternoon when I made the call. The¬†phone rang and finally, I heard her voice on the other end of the line. With a slur, she said, “Heeeeellllllllooooooooo.” It sounded like I woke her from a deep slumber. I was sobbing when I said, “Mom, I need to talk to you.” I was so desperate for her shoulder to lean on. I had to either figure out what I was missing or, I was reaching for the bottle of sleeping pills. Once I realized she wasn’t able to hold an intelligent conversation, I just hung up the phone. Somehow, I cried my way around it and put on my big girl panties and moved on.

When I was younger, I remembered her being a big fan of “tranquilizers.” Often she would be physically present but mentally absent. I have memories of her being tucked back in a closet in a ball. I don’t even know what it was she took but apparently, she was on them at this moment. My mother was unavailable. It was either me pulling up my bootstraps and trying to press on or just to give up and end my life.

During my marriage to Craig, there were so many moments when I could have used someone to hold me up and remind me that I’ve got this! If I had just one friend who was empowering, supporting me and cheering me on, I would have believed that I could create a great life for myself.

I could have used help when I came through the door and found him going through my purse. He had everything strewn all over the floor, and he was holding on to the checkbook. The moment I closed the door, he asked, “Who are you sleeping with at the grocery store?” Apparently, I had a habit of shopping on Wednesday, and this meant I was having an affair. This was yet another one of the times when he threatened divorce and promised I would be thrown out on the street. I had to grovel, beg and plead for him to believe me. I was 2,500 miles away from anyone I knew. I couldn’t be left alone on the streets of Ohio.

When I was out of the house and in total despair, I wanted so much for us to seek counseling and repair our dysfunctional marriage. All I wanted was for us to open up and learn how to communicate so I could come home. When I realized he was never going to open up to anyone, knowing my life was over, I booked a cruise. I wrote a note in my journal and knew someone would find it when the news of my jumping off of the ship got back to my family.

IMG_3578During my first 35 years of life, I went through so many painful and lonely days. In looking back, if I had a community of strong and supportive women to lean on, I would have blasted through the pain and moved forward so much earlier and easier. If I had a super sister to pump me up and remind me that I am strong and capable, it would have made a world of difference.

It is for the women who are walking in my old shoes that I am creating “Getting People Together.” My new website will be a place where women will gather who want to change their lives for the better. It will be a community full of powerful women from all walks of life. It will be a place where someone will hold your hand as you work through hard times. You will have encouragement and support to bring you to a place of peace and happiness.

On a scale of 1-10, my confidence and self-esteem at 30 years old was under a 1. Today, I am so far on the other side of 10 it is unimaginable. Never in a million years would I have believed I could get here from where I started. As the years have gone by and I’ve finally moved the last mountain, I now live stress-free and in the present. If you’ve ever imagined what this could feel like, it’s a beautiful place to be!

I want to share my story and help women join me at the top. This community will be available for any woman who is on a journey of self-improvement. We only want women who know it’s time that they want to rise above.

I am so excited to start this new venture and open up this village so woman to woman, shoulder to shoulder, we can move mountains together.

I’m just a few months pregnant with the new website. Keep your eyes right here and stay tuned, great things will be coming this way. If you know any women who are ready to make a change and kick ass, send them the link to the website and have them get on the email list so they will be on board when it all happens.

Let’s move some mountains!

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