My gut was gnawing at me today in a huge way. To find clarity, I did what I do every time I’m faced with my gut arguing with me, I went for a walk. I walk alone, and I walk at a good clip. I don’t believe a casual stroll would be useful to receive the answers I need to find. As I told my daughter today, I walk with intention!
I do laugh at myself because I swear, I’ve become Forrest Gump. Not a running Gump, those days are gone, but a full-fledged distance-achieving walking Gump. Today I walked 9 miles. My walk was a success.
Everyone has their way of finding answers to gnawing gut arguments and questions, walking is the only successful way I have found to find my guidance. I have tried meditation, but between the kid and the husband, the cat jumping on me or the dog pawing me to pet her or let her outside, walking is my way to find guidance.
The trick is to start walking and allow all the stuff to enter your mind because you can’t fight it. I will hear a song or two fill up my head. Then thoughts come in about what I need to do, what’s for dinner, did I take the clothes out of the dryer… then it hits… BOOM! No longer is my gut in argument mode; it kicks into clarity mode. The “thing” that I have struggled with, the necessary outcome becomes crystal clear.
Once the answers start coming, I can’t stop walking. With each step I take, more clarity comes. The more I walk, the more I think. The more I think, the more I need to walk. I feel like a freaking hamster on a wheel, but I can’t stop! It’s not a bad way to find clarity as I’ve been able to stay at my driver’s license weight for years now. Can’t do that meditating with a dog pawing on me.
Today I was already a bit tired and hungry, but my answers were lighting me on fire! When I should have gone straight to head home, I made a right turn entering an entirely different neighborhood. I walked and walked until my legs were tired, and my gut was in check.
So what was the big issue that caused the gut argument? It is an amazing offer to work at the number one country station in Seattle, The Wolf. Why is this causing me grief? I figure by working at The Wolf, I will have practically worked at every country station in the market! I started at Young Country selling advertising. Then I worked on-air at the Cowboy with Ichabod Caine. After that KMPS, then KAYO. Adding the Wolf to my résumé brings me full circle, this time being at the biggest of all stations. What is wrong with me?
I recently left a pretty full-time job in radio working at KAYO in Olympia. I was the promotions director all of 2014, I managed and hired the street team for the last few years, and I was on the air 9-2 Monday through Saturday. I left because I need time to write. Working so much left no time for me to walk which brings clarity, then to sit down and write; it wasn’t getting done.
The downside to me leaving a consistent income is the feeling of not contributing financially. I did lessen my financial footprint on the family by selling my big Highlander with all the options and purchased the same year Subaru with no options. Now we have no car payment, and we came out ahead. I still find myself stepping out and opening myself for little ways to find work, a little here, a little there.
I now have a few days each month I will work at MIXX 96.1 filling in, and I’m working for a former radio co-worker at home shows for pretty good money now and then. Why is the thought of working at the Wolf gnawing at me?
It’s because I’m not writing. I’m not doing the one thing I left my job to do. And it’s because going to Seattle will start costing me in the long run, and my hopes of not having a large financial footprint will be gone. The honor of working there, being with old friends from KMPS, the thrill of being included in the Wolf family and the incredible studios are all incredibly attractive. The problem is, it will cost me more to go to work than I would make. It’s an upside-down proposition.
My gut is screaming at me that now is the time to sit down every day and focus on my writing. My outline is clear, it’s time to get pen to paper. I have a story to tell and if I don’t sit my butt down between 9 mile walks, it will never be told. I can’t let that happen.
Wingo, thank you so much for the wonderful opportunity to join the family at the Wolf, but as of right now, sadly I need to push the “pause” button. I need to finish my writing. I do know that by following my passion, the money will follow. Once I get a dime or two for my writing, I would be honored to join you and crack open the mic at 100.7 Seattle Wolf!
Listen to your gut!