Suicide Does Not Have to be an Option

Suicide doesn't have to be an option. Why do you think kids end up going this route? I am stating right out of the gate that I am not an expert, but when I was younger, three times I thought ending my life was the only answer. I was so close to ending it all because...

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Be Who You Are Meant to Be

As we approach yet another brand new year, why not let this year be the year you finally and completely allow yourself to be who you are meant to be? What do you have to lose? Let's honor ourselves in 2018! Years ago when I was "only" working part-time in Seattle...

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December 18th, It Became Real.

As I was driving home from working in Olympia last week, I watched as a freight train was above me on the overpass as we were both moving fast in our respective directions. This train trestle, covered with graffiti, is part of the landscape that has been around for...

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Do Not Disturb! Crazy Lady having Pity Party

DO NOT DISTURB! Crazy lady having pity party inside - please no interruptions. Sometimes you just need to curl up with your dog on the floor and let the tears flow. She doesn't have a clue what is going on, all she knows is that life as she knows it - with me as her...

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Ben & Jerry’s Tonight – Spine Surgery Tomorrow

I have three tablespoons left of my Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream that I've been milking since my backache first started Monday, October 16th. Tomorrow, finally after living in agony, I go in for back surgery. Tonight, I will finish my ice cream....

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Living Groundhog Day

What did a day in the life look like for me? Honestly, I've been living groundhog day for so long, it's all I knew. I would wake up as early as I could so I could visit with Hannah before she took off to school. I'd help her put her lunch together and then she'd be...

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I Have a Confession to Make

Yep, I have a confession to make. Yesterday I was given the go-ahead by my daughter to post something on social media. She has been accepted and has signed on the dotted line that she will go to Washington State University in the fall of next year. My little girl will...

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Be Alone and Never be Lonely

When I post something on my blog or comment on a social media post about the beauty I find in the time I spend being entirely alone, it amazes me how people respond. The responses are along the lines of "congratulations, so proud of you, wish I could do it," or even...

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Cari 2.0

I went to the Oregon coast for clarity. If someone I knew ten years ago connected with me today, they would see an entirely new version of me. I'm the new Cari 2.0! I have experienced constant change over the last five years. Much of this began when I walked away from...

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Move Heaven and Earth – for What?

Often, we want to move heaven and earth to help someone... for what? When you find yourself entangled in the lives of other people, it can be exhausting! I found myself drawn into two different life situations happening simultaneously. They were situations I was fully...

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Look What You Made Me Do

Look what you made me do, Taylor Swift! You made me write a blog post about your new song. How did you pull that off? Frankly, I don't really know who or what the song is about; I only hope she doesn't mean it when she says that famous phrase, "look what you made me...

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The Beauty of Abuse

The beauty of abuse, how ridiculous that must sound! The thing is, without the horrible childhood I had, I would not be where I am today without it. This is my absolute truth! When you come from a life of hell, you usually end up going one of two ways. You either...

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Soul Transcenders

Rather than wait for calls from organizations I've contacted to come and speak to their people, I'm doing it myself. Why didn't I think of this before? Well, mostly because the plan I have laid out is to start the groundwork while my daughter is still in school. After...

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Unconventional Graduation Wisdom

As you graduate from high school and prepare to take on the world and all the unknown adventures ahead, here are a few nuggets of wisdom; unconventional graduation wisdom. Keep this with you as you move forward in life as a reminder that you can do or be anything you...

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Quiet Your Mind and Discover Your Awareness

What are you thinking about right now? What thoughts are zooming around in your head? Are you thinking about what to make for dinner, where you put your glasses, why the earth moves at the speed it does, why your kid was unhappy this morning... what is going through...

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How My Purpose Found Me

I know, you haven't seen a blog post from me since March 8th. Trust me, I've started about 15 articles, but by the time the next day came, my mind moved on to bigger and better things. You see, I have been on a path of immense growth over the last couple of years. At...

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Happy International Women’s Day!

Who would have thought that when my employer told me I was taking this day off, I would have had ill feelings about it? Why are they giving me the day off? I already picked my holidays for the year. What do they want in return? Does everyone get the day off? That is...

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Words that Change Lives

How many adults do you know who are in their 30's, 40's or even 50's and to this day, they are still trying to make their parents proud? If only they had just heard those words uttered a few times, their lives would be different. Without these words, they become ten...

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I was Just a Fat Girl!

I realize how far I have come every time I look back and see how backward my life was! Here is an example of my old story, the way I saw it, I was just a fat girl. All of my life I was obsessed with my weight. I was a "chubby" kid and remained chunky all the way...

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Concert Ticket Scalping – Stop the Madness!

I bought four tickets to an upcoming concert during a presale a couple of weeks ago. Just for the heck of it, yesterday I checked on Ticketmaster to see how many tickets had sold - curious because it's a huge venue. Apparently, it has sold out! I looked at the section...

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The Gift of Silence

I can still see myself as I was looking into the downstairs mirror. I was wearing a red V-neck sweater and blue jeans. My hair was straight, parted in the middle. As I walked into the bathroom and walked by the mirror, I couldn't help but catch a glimpse of myself. As...

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I’ve Truly Gone from Abused to Zen

I've truly gone from abused to zen. I haven't published a blog post since December 12th, 2016. The last one I wrote was about my former step-son who is preparing for his federal prison sentencing this month for kidnapping! Other than that, I've had nothing to say....

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Making of a Monster

I was not surprised one little bit when I saw the article that my former stepson was arrested for kidnapping. Not shocked, not surprised, actually I kind of expected it. I was in the same house with this boy for almost six years, and I witnessed the making of a...

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Same Shit, Different Day

Another police officer shot and killed in the line of duty is hard for most of us to take. Today, I heard the recap of the story in Tacoma which started with a domestic violence disturbance yesterday afternoon. When police arrived on the scene, one officer shot (and...

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Time to Rip Your Hair Out – the Holidays are Here!

It's once again time to rip your hair out. The Holidays are here! Thanksgiving is three days away. Around my dinner table, I will have twelve people gathering to celebrate the holiday. The same twelve people will all be staying at my house that night. It's the Monday...

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Start Your Day With Soul-Sex

Add Hours to your Day with a Mind-Gasm!   Do you ever find yourself feeling angst because there is so much you need to be doing, but you aren't doing it all? There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day yet, darn it, you need to be doing it! Oh, believe me, I...

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The Day the Abuse Ended

It was the last day of violence in my childhood. It was the day the abuse ended. It was May 21st. Only a handful of days left in school as a fifth grader before summer vacation. I was playing with my neighbor in the dirt on the side of the car port when mom pulled in...

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Cell Phones. The New Heroin?

SHOCKING NEWS! People are becoming addicted to their cell phones! The thing is, many of us can still look back to those medieval times and remember what life was like without them. Our kids, however, won't have such reflections. They can't compare a life without...

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He Doesn’t Mean to Hit Me

He doesn't mean to hit me. Why do you stay? I love him. He hits you, calls you names and treats you like garbage, but you love him. How is that? He loves me. I know he does. When he has a bad day, sometimes he just erupts and I'm the one who he takes it out on.  Why...

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The Sins of the Mother

From about 6th grade through my senior year of high school, I lived what you might call a "normal" life. My mom was married to the same man this entire time, and we lived in the same house all the way through my graduation from high school to when I moved out into the...

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Fill Up Your Dash

You lose a parent. The other parent is left to grieve the loss of their partner for as long as it takes. Days, weeks, months and maybe years go by; perhaps they are still missing their spouse. When and if the time is right for them, they will be ready to move on. They...

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CHAOS – Is Her Happy Place

We’ve all heard the sayings, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” or “God helps those who help themselves” right? I think the theme here is… the only behavior we can control is our own. Sound about right? It’s totally true. It saddens me in a...

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Did this Really Happen? Punched by a Toddler!

It takes a lot to blow my mind and throw me for a loop. But, this last weekend did exactly that. I must say, the behavior of the humans we were forced to share camping space with this weekend really surprised me. I just knew there were cameras hidden in the trees...

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Thoughts DO Become Things

It's time I write this. I've been holding my breath and waiting for the right time, but there is no right time. The time is now. I'm stepping out on the ledge and sharing my deepest, most blissful secret. Change your thinking, change your life. I know that "thoughts...

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A Mother’s Wisdom for her Daughter

A mother's wisdom for her daughter. I wrote this to my daughter a few years ago when I realized how fast time was flying. With so much homework and requirements by various sports teams, there seemed to be no time left in the day for her to learn some of the very...

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Kick Starting my Speaking Career

Today I am kick starting my speaking career by sending out a video. This video is only supposed to be two to three minutes, yet it needs to capture the essence of my message. There is a speaking event in Paris this November. The video with the most shares, most likes...

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We are Moving Mountains!

When I was going through some of the most difficult times in my life, it never dawned on me that perhaps, I could have asked someone a little stronger than myself for help. Right here, we are moving mountains! There was the time I was sitting at my dining room table...

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Leaving my dog with a monster

I reposted this video on my Facebook page as it yanked hard on my emotions. Just like children, animals do not have any say in their lives. You will be brought to tears when you see the dog reunited with his person. The result is true, raw emotion. Watch the video...

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Guess what? This is not your only trip around the sun!

Guess what? This is not your only trip around the sun. Have you ever met someone for the first time and although you know you've never met them, inside there is a gut feeling that somehow, you know them? More often than not, they feel the exact same way. How is this?...

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Live One Hell of a Eulogy

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a man who was clearly stressed out. I told him he needed to chill, drop the stress and extend his life. He had a look of "I only wish I could" on his face. I told him about my recent visit with my nephrologist. My doc said that all...

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Act my age? Honey, I already am!

I was driving home from soccer last night, and my friend said something to me that stuck. We were talking about getting dressed up all wild and crazy for parties or whatever the occasion might bring. She said some of her friends won't dress up anymore because they...

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The New Normal? Embrace the Madness?

Dear God, I certainly am worried about the direction the world is going. Today as I was driving home from work, around 10:00 headed north on I-5 in Lacey, I had to call 911. The car in front of me, in the middle lane, was all over the place! For a little while, I...

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Look at Love through a Lens of Logic

It was probably the hardest thing she's ever had to do. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend the other day. As difficult as it was, I am so proud of my kid. The way she reached into her heart and internalized what he would be feeling during the whole process was...

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My Former Step-Son in Jail for Kidnapping

Well if this isn't living proof that kids need parents to actually "parent" them, I don't know what is! Listen up grown-ups, if you are divorced and feel guilty because your child isn't in the perfect two-parent home you dreamed of, stay awake and present because...

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A Tale of Two Women

Audio from the following speech, "A Tale of Two Women":   If the woman I was at 30 were in the same room with the woman I am today, she would be scared to death of me. If you view self-esteem and confidence like water, they seek their own level. The woman I was at 30...

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Rant Alert – Wealth Inequality in America

At my Toastmasters meeting Thursday, one of the young women in the group did a speech on the millennial generation. In her speech, she said that the goal for the majority of the generation is to be rich and famous. I'm not at all surprised. While working at the radio...

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Is Man Ruining his own Nest

  Is man ruining his own nest? I recently read an article in The Atlantic magazine that can't help but make you think about the future. The article was titled "A World Without Work," and it's about how with technology, man is inventing himself into unemployment. Wow!...

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Jump

Under two years ago, I caught an interview Oprah was doing with comedian Steve Harvey. This wasn't a segment about comedy but about changing your life. Steve was talking about his book, "Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success." Immediately after the interview, I...

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It Is Only a Game

It was just another Sunday soccer game for Hannah. It would be the first game of the season for the new team she has been playing on for about six months now. I hated that I couldn't come to this one but since starting back at my former radio station, I was scheduled...

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What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

2016, you are going to be a great year! What a couple of decades I've lived through. I am so ready to welcome 2016 and all of the greatness it promises to bring. Nothing can hold me back after the crazy I have experienced. Enough already. Let's do this! I meet John...

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Namaste

Nothing better than being next to the water in Yachats on the Oregon Coast. I've been here all alone for over three days now, and I could stay forever. I don't know what it is about me and my connection to water but believe me, it is huge. As of now, I know I need to...

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Is This Where We Are Headed?

In trying to think back to 16-years-old and what I was excited about, sadly I'm drawing a blank. I know I liked music, but I didn't have to have it playing all the time when I was awake. I liked to read, I think. I just don't remember what I read if it wasn't school...

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Faith in Humanity Destroyed

Driving to Seattle yesterday morning, I saw something that sadly, I cannot unsee. Traffic wasn't too bad so keeping up at 60 mph was easy to do, frequently faster. Just a few miles out of the city is when I saw the kitten come out of a car window. I couldn't tell...

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Listen To Your Gut

My gut was gnawing at me today in a huge way. To find clarity, I did what I do every time I'm faced with my gut arguing with me, I went for a walk. I walk alone, and I walk at a good clip. I don't believe a casual stroll would be useful to receive the answers I need...

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Celebrating Friends Today

How many true friends do you have? If you stop and think about it, how many are there? How many would swim through shark-infested waters to help you in times of need? How many know every deep, dark secret about you, yet you know every nitty-gritty detail is safe? When...

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How can anyone hurt an animal?

I will never understand how anyone can be cruel to a child or an animal. Completely blows my mind anytime I hear about it, I have to witness it or the possibility of it. Twice recently I've been walking around my neighborhood with my dog and this sweet boxer/lab mix...

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Check Out My Ass

Check out my ass.. of course I mean my assets. Not a day goes by when I don't get a comment on at least one of them! Today I was in the grocery store when a man came around the corner and said, "Excuse me... how did you get your calves to look like that?" After my...

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Leaving Radio, but I am Still Talking

When my gut talks to me, I know to listen. That inner voice has been guiding me in and out, down and up, around and over my entire life. It's never steered me wrong. When I do listen, and I move in the direction I am supposed to move; I know I'm going the right way. A...

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Spend Two Hours, Change Your Life

Click here to watch the movie now. Dr. Wayne Dyer died August 29th. After being orphaned in his youth, he found fame in 1976 when he published Your Erroneous Zones: Step-by-Step Advice for Escaping the Trap of Negative Thinking and Taking Control of Your Life. The...

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Dance In The Rain

If you are living in the northwest (in the U.S.) or the southwest (in B.C.), your body has probably had to acclimate to a different climate this summer. Being born and raised in the Las Vegas desert, the constant heat was one of the reasons why I left. The last 3-4...

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The Grand Canyon. Live. Experience. Try. Do.

Coming back from the Hay House Workshop on the Alaska cruise, I was in a similar spiritual place from when I returned from the Grand Canyon. Removing yourself from life and being only "in the moment" day after day, brings high rewards and crystal clear thinking. Once...

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Let your kids live their own life

Walking around the lake the other day, I saw a man and a boy in the baseball diamond all by themselves. I couldn't hear anything when I started my walk but noticed the dad was batting baseballs to the field; they had at least 30 balls scattered. After I finished my...

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You can’t take it with you

As I am enjoying my Alaska cruise and attending the Hay House Publishing Speak/Write/Promote workshop, I am having the time of my life. I am hanging with people who are already successful doing what I want to (and will be) doing. Couldn't be a better fit. Today I am...

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Wanna hook up?

Young love is so adorable... Right? I remember in 6th grade when Mike asked me to "go steady". I agreed. We "dated" for maybe a week or two (we never saw each other outside of school). On that last day when we were together, he started reaching in for a hug. The...

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Suck it up and die early

A former classmate of mine posted on Facebook recently that she is moving to Cancun. I've followed her story with all the complications that come with moving to a new country, but what I love more than anything, she is really living! She secured a job at a well-known...

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You can take me out of the trailer park

You can take me out of the trailer park... but can you take the trailer out of me? I am getting ready to go on a cruise all by myself on August 1st, and I couldn't be more excited! Hay House is putting on a workshop during the cruise that I have dreamed of attending....

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You have been heavy on my mind

You have been heavy on my mind ever since our lunch recently. You are such a great woman with so much love and compassion; it's time you give some of that love back to yourself. You told me stories about your life. I know how desperately you hate your job, and you...

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Fire Hazard this 4th of July

Fire Hazard this 4th of July As I sit in my dining room with four fans spinning, aiming at me, I can't help but wonder if Las Vegas has found me. I grew up there, and one of the reasons I left was the incredible heat! If you weren't in air conditioning, the lake or...

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Letting go sucks, but it is worth it

Because I've done a whole lot of it lately, I've been thinking about the process of 'letting go' and how my process has changed throughout my lifetime. Looking back to the days as a young child, knowing we would never stay in the same place for very long, I would not...

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Fear of speaking… me?

Have you ever found yourself sitting in a circle of people, perhaps a business meeting or some group, and they have everyone in the group, one at a time, introduce themselves? They want you to say your name, where you’re from maybe and say a little bit about yourself....

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Relationship with a Microphone

Since I was very young, I have had a relationship with a microphone. Beginning at my grandma's house when I would make everyone present sit down and listen while I sang the same song over and over. There was a little amplifier I would use to plug in the mic so...

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Another Cosmic Encounter!

Going back to January, in my email like every other day, was a Linkedin connection. I clicked on it and like every other time, there is a page full of suggested connections. Often they are people I worked with in radio before; many are in parallel careers or just...

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I won’t wish my mother “Happy Mother’s Day”

As everyone is posting their beautiful stories and pictures on Facebook about their mother being the best in the world, I can't say the same about mine. There was a time if I could go way back, where I might feel different. Unfortunately, the choices she made changed...

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Not Second Fiddle

My car was in the shop getting an oil change while I was in the waiting room. With still a lot of time to wait, I found myself sitting next to a man of the Lord. I didn't invite him into my space, but he decided he needed to have a chat with me. I was kind but evasive...

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Home ownership is lovely… right?

I was walking my dog yesterday when I walked by a house with a lovely older woman busily sweeping and cleaning her yard. She looked up as we walked by and gave me a big smile. Then she said in a very fun yet sarcastic tone, "isn't home ownership lovely"? I had to...

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Yep, I’m an open book

I was talking to someone earlier today that asked me about my new life as a blogger. They wondered if I was concerned about my neighbors, my daughter or others in the community reading it and getting to know me in a way that they never have before. They wondered if...

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Blubber like a baby

Went with my family and my daughter's friend to see Insurgent over the weekend at the theater. Naturally you get to sit through and enjoy about a half hour worth of previews. I don't really mind it much as we don't go to the movies often, it's nice to see what might...

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Fears erased – BOOM!

Heading to Cabo San Lucas for our spring break vacation this year, I'm sitting by the window next to my daughter, now almost 16. We begin our first descent into San Francisco and my kid looks over at me and prepares me for my “least favorite part” of flying – landing!...

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As a mother…

... I would have been infuriated. As I was driving this morning, I heard on the radio that yet another school had a shooting incident, this one in Lacey, Washington, the area where I work! Today a boy went into school with a gun, running throughout the hallway yelling...

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Yachats, Oregon… the Gem of the Oregon Coast

It's about a 5 1/2 drive to get there but it is always worth it. We have been going to Yachats for years. John's parents own a small cabin there and it seems to be the place where the family can all get back together. There is something about going to a place with the...

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Letter to my ex-husband

I don’t know if I ever told you about what I was going through when we met. I was in my seat, stuffed in the window as I had two very large people next to me, and I lost my breath when you entered the airplane. You were late, along with a few other passengers. I...

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I am… not normal!

As a matter of fact, I am happy to say I don’t like what normal looks like anyway! I am 55; I have a 16-year-old daughter. The entire time she was growing up, the people who became my friends were friends because we had kids the same age. I have almost always been the...

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